Malostovka

Shortlist 2017

Tatsiana Tkachova

Tatsiana Tkachova (30 y.o.) is a photographer born in Krasnopolye, Mogilev region, Belarus. She graduated from the Belarusian State University of Culture and Arts with a Culturology degree. Tatsiana graduated from the Academy of documentary photography and journalism "Fotografika" in Saint-Petersburg in 2016. She has been photographing since 2015.

The Compromise
2017

Malostovka

Malostovka I came home for a week and stayed for almost two months. I feel so safe and good at home, as its been nowhere else lately. Only in my childhood. I love this place. Everything is familiar. But everything is gone somewhere. It is not happening again. Not coming back. But it doesnt have to. I wasnt a part of those people anymore. I know everything here, and the place was sort of telling me: Look, youre a stranger, your time is gone. I felt uncomfortable, when I came to the local disco, village festival or was just walking around. It felt uncomfortable because of the age gap. My peers havent visited such places for a long time, they have families now. One of my classmates died of skin tuberculosis. As I was riding a bike with a backpack, wearing slightly holey leggings and shorts, taking photos, people were watching me as though I was an astronaut. I felt that the space was intentionally involving me into this game, tried me, and then started helping me. Or maybe just stopped being interested in me. Apparently, I was not a stranger anymore. Time is being collected into a thrift-box of memories inside me. I carefully take out one after another, as if I was processing the film. Like back then, I come to the lake to watch sunset. There is a cemetery next to the lake, where grandma, grandpa and cousin Sergey are buried. I have never met him. He has lived for four days. The sky. The sky is amazing here. I was remembering a radio interview in Holland. I was 13 or 14. The host asked something about Holland. I said that I liked it a lot there, and that our countries were very alike. He asked, surprised, in what? I replied that we had just as beautiful sky and grass as they did. Everyone was laughing for a long time. Finally, I got my freedom back. Sometimes the consciousness stops us from being liberated, but its different now. I would like to keep this feeling, just as back then, when I was a teenager. The space is something very huge, and the time seems eternal. Its us, the people, who are getting old outside and inside. Getting little, round-shouldered, dependent on everything creatures. Suddenly Im thinking of the time when my mother is gone. And I will have to move forward. I havent thought of that before. Im scared. Im rewinding the time. Im going on and everything is repeated. Im turning pages of memories till the end, but Ive come only a part of the way. Im coming back in thoughts to the place where I was born, to the nature, to the land. I feel the freedom again.